creating this life

creating this life…if not now…

What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to overcome? May 23, 2007

By accident we stumbled into Tompskin Square Park to film this videoblog episode.  The question we asked was “What is the hardest thing you’ve had to overcome?”  It is a heavier episode/blog for us, but amazing answers really.  I love that everyone’s reality is different.  The things we struggle with vary so much…and each thing no matter how tough you or I may perceive it is real for that person.

I answered being gay in the midwest in our vodcast…and while that is real. I feel the answer that is really true for me and which I am still trying to overcome is loss.  The loss of a loved ones.  When I was younger loss came in the form of a relationship ending…my first love and I splittin up…my partner a few years ago, but the real loss occurs when someone is gone from this earth.  The loss of my cousin to leukemia when I was in my 20’s, he was so young and beautiful…but the death of my grandmother was even harder.  She was my soulmate.  It is too fresh (even though it’s been 4 years) to think about sometimes.  She was my best friend…She nurtured me and accepted me unconditionally.  She taught me so much about the world…shared her stories and love for poetry and words and gardening and food and exploration and life with me.  She taught me things I would not have normally learned in the middle of Indiana.  And as I grew up we would exchange advice.  I remember the first time she wanted my opinion on a situation with some of her friends.  Our relationship was timeless and not bound by the age difference.  We shared so much. She had a broad mind and overcoming the loss of her this life time is something I am not sure how to do. You just go on…time I suppose.  For quite a while I just blocked it out, but then pieces come back.  It feels good to remember now.  We all have loss in this life, I know I am not the only one having a hard time overcoming it. 


What inspires you? May 18, 2007

Kathryn and I put the following video together last week.  We shot in Time Square and the theatre district.  We asked people what inpires them.  We got some great answers to the question.  I am looking at this again tonight becuase I used to feel inspired by so many things…and lately it gets tough.  But as I say in the videoblog, New York inpires me.  If it weren’t 4 in the morning I’d go take a walk and find some inspiriation out there.  As it is, I am just thinking about inspiration…With that said I though I’d put this out there.


What would you be doing with your life…with unconditional support? May 3, 2007

This week’s question is about unconditional support.  We hit the streets in NYC and asked people what they would be doing if they had the unconditional support of everyone around them…whatever that means to them.  It’s a videoblog…check it out…


Why do you wake up each day? April 4, 2007

Why do you wake up each day?


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Why do you wake up each day? I am sitting here with a cup of coffee wondering why I am up…but then I remember. People get up for different reason. Check it out.
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What does your job say about who you are?

What does your job say about who you are?


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Another “Question of the Week”…What does your job say about who you are? Curious if is reflective of who you are.
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What’s the most courageous thing you have done? April 2, 2007

We are on the streets in New York asking people what is the most corageous thing they ever did.  There are different ways to define courage and it is interesting to hear what people have to say…I appreciate the honesty.  Sometimes simple, sometimes complicated.   I was a little kid and helped save my little brother’s friend by pulling him out of a rushing creek.   For a 7 year old it seemed impossible, I was scared, but we were able to do it.  

Since then as an adulte I think the most courageous thing I have done is take my life in my own hands.  To make choices.  To not be afraid…or to be afraid and do it any way.  Check out what people had to say about courage…


What do you fear most? March 25, 2007

Filed under: fear,gay,inspiration,life,personal,podcast,Uncategorized,video,vodcast,YouTube — nicknyc @ 11:19 pm

This past week in our videoblog we asked the question, “What is your greatest fear?”  We received some amazing answers.  Most people had one word answers which was surprising…even my answer was brief…“Being Alone”.  My favorite answer was fear.  “What do you fear most?”  “Fear”. 

I have found myself reflecting on it quite a bit.  I like my alone time, but don’t want to BE alone.  I like knowing that I have a boyfriend.  I want him to be there forever.   That, of course, is an awful lot of pressure for anyone, and I am curious how it affects my relationship…and my life.  Oddly I like my “alone” time, but can enjoy it knowing that ultimately I am not alone.    Of course it begs a larger question of are we alone and in a way aren’t we all alone?  And what about that which is greater than I, but I am not ready to tackle that one.  I have to deal with my humanity….and the fact is I don’t like to be alone. 

It also got me thinking about how my fear of being alone affects my life.  I work really hard at being great boyfriend because first I am an overachiever, but 2ndly, I don’t want to lose him and be alone.  I often acquiesce on issues for fear of upsetting the apple cart and having someone mad at me.  People will go away if they don’t like me and then I will be alone.  Yikes.  I don’t particularly like that thought process, but that is what these questions do for me.  They make me think.  I suppose I like the comfort of the city because there is always someone near.  

Have a look and let me know your reactions.  What do you fear?